Listen to your DayDreams
by EyesOfAWolf202
Summary: James hasn't seen his little sister Star in almost a year. So when she comes for a visit he's stunned at how much she's changed. And so is another member of the band. LxOC JxCami KxJo CxSteph. No Slash. R&R warning: OC death schizophrenia.
1. Chapter 1

Listen to your DayDreams

Chapter 1 Staying at the Palm Woods

James' POV

"What if she's not coming?"

"I'm sure someone would have told us by now if she wasn't coming."

"But, what if she checks into some other hotel to avoid me? That's what I would do, and she has mom's credit card..."

"James! Would you listen to yourself? I'm fairly positive she will come here. Kelly went to the airport personally to pick her up, remember?"

I hate it when Kendall's right. I stopped pacing around the Palm Woods lobby and looked at my three best friends. How could they be so calm? Well, I suppose it wasn't like their bratty know-it-all little sister was coming into town. Kendall's bratty know-it-all little sister actually lived here with us, Logan doesn't have any sisters, just three brothers and Carlos talked to his sister almost every day. I hadn't spoken to Star in nearly a year. And I didn't want to. It'd been so long since I had talked to or about her that when my mom called and asked if Star could stay with us for a month while our parents went away on business, it actually took me a few moments to remember who she was. When I did remember my first answer was "no way, no how". But, well, look you haven't met my mom! She can be very stubborn. I was about to begin pacing again when I heard someone ringing the bell and getting pretty impatient I might add.

It was her. She had changed drastically, but in a good way. I feel kind of sick saying this but, my little sister... got hot. She was positively gorgeous. Her once short cropped hair now fell halfway down her back in layers. It was still the same red I remembered only darker. She was once short and stout but now she was tall (well slightly under Logan's height but taller) and extremely thin but not scary anorexic thin. She was wearing a green flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and black skinny jeans with pink and white Nike high-tops. Bitters still hadn't appeared behind the desk but Star didn't seem to care. She'd gotten into a rhythm bopping her head to the beat and tapping her foot. I went to approach her when the very fat and aptly named building manager rose up from behind the desk. Star jumped back, surprised, and unwillingly let out a strangled shriek of surprise and slight repulsion.

"What can I do for you?"

I could almost see Star deciding she didn't like the irritating man.

"Star Diamond, someone from Rocque Records booked a room for me?"

"Oh yes. You'll be staying in room 2K." He reached his hand holding the key over to her and then suddenly snatching it back before she had a chance to take it from him. "Wait, are you staying here alone?"

She nodded, evidently curious as to why he needed to know this information. I, as her older brother, was also curious. Bitters gave me the creeps and Star had enough to deal with.

"I'm very sorry but I can't let a minor stay here alone. Go somewhere else."

The way he said it made it very apparent to both of us that he wasn't sorry in the slightest. Star sighed and very quickly as if the words were burning her tongue said;

"I'm not alone. My brother's already staying here. His name is James, James Diamond, of Big Time Rush."

"Well..." He obviously didn't believe her. "Whatever, here's your room key. Have a Palm Woods day."

"Don't tell me what to do." She snapped turning away from him, effectively ending the painful conversation.

Now I could see her properly she looked absolutely elated she didn't have to talk to the annoying little man anymore. (Whoa, elated? I've been spending way to much time with the living dictionary that is Logan Mitchell) She scanned the lobby her eyes passing over me before snapping back on the double take. I couldn't help myself. I started to feel, like, a degree of affection towards her. So, I went and gave her a hug. She seemed awkward at first but finally hugged me back.

"You're here! You came!" I whispered into her hair. She chuckled at that and pulled back slightly so I could see her.

"Of course, I came! I couldn't just leave my big brother to make trouble for himself without me, now could I? That's my job!"

I laughed and let her go. I looked her up and down, noticing all the tiny changes in her. She was, as I said, taller and thinner but also paler, which I hadn't thought that was possible. Her eyes were the same hazel green I remembered from when I last saw her. There was no denying it. My sister had changed from pudgy computer geek to drop-dead gorgeous supermodel. I was about to comment on that when I heard Carlos call for me.

"James, where did you...Star!"

Kendall, Carlos and Logan ran up to her and gave her a huge group hug. You know the kind that makes your eyes pop out and your breathing actually hurt? Yeah, that kind.

"Uh, guys? I missed you too and all that but, I think I'll miss the ability to breath, way more."

They quickly let go, mumbling apologies and looking rightfully sheepish. She gave them a quick look over. I could easily guess what she was thinking. There was Carlos, still smiling, his helmet perched on his head. Star smiled, probably thinking of the messes we've gotten into because of that helmet. Kendall, always the leader with the stupid hair (I have offered him my lucky comb but he refuses) and the bright ideas. She stopped at Logan. For a while I couldn't tell what she was thinking then I saw that all too familiar look on both of their faces. I groaned inwardly. Great my little sister likes my best friend and not only does he seem to like her back but he has a girlfriend. Just my luck. I turned my back on them and bent to pick up her suitcases. And failed. Damn those things were heavy.

"Having trouble there, oh strong and mighty big brother of mine?"

"You know, sarcasm doesn't look good on anyone."

"Except for me! Seriously though do you need some help?"

"What did you put in these bags, rocks?"

"They're called books James. You know, for reading?"

Logan leaned his head over her shoulder. "Books?" he asked. Star nodded. He walked around her picked up all three of her bags with ease (wait, three? She was only staying till Tuesday!).

"Shall we mi'lady?" he asked doing his posh accent. She laughed and started to walk with him towards the elevators with him.

"We shall, kind sir." Star stopped when she realised we weren't following. We were all looking at Logan in disbelief. "What's wrong, boys? Cat got your tongue?"

Carlos was the first to break the silence. "Dude, if James couldn't carry those bags, how come you're able to?"

"I guess, I'm just used to carrying a bunch of heavy books around." Kendall, Carlos and I looked at each other, shrugged and walked to the elevators with them.

And that was the beginning of Star Diamond's stay at the Palm Woods.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Ok so last time I uploaded something the authors note at the beginning and end didn't come up so hopefully they will this time. If they don't can you PM me and let me know? Wait, if they don't come up you won't read them you won't know to PM me... so disregard that last bit about PMing. Anyway I just need to warn you about the mentions of OC death and schizophrenia. BTW I know the chapters are really short, but hey, I'm only human. I think they get longer later on, when I become an alien.**

**Disclaimer: me and some dude from Nickelodeon pulling a Christmas cracker. Aw, man, he won; I guess he owns Big Time Rush. Well there's always next year. And I do own Star Diamond.**

**I'd like to take this tome to mention a few of my heroes: Dan Schneider, Guppy from iCarly and Dr. Sheldon Cooper of the Big Bang Theory. **

Chapter 2

Talking to my Conscience

Star's POV

This place was amazing! So much better than my own apartment. When I came in I did the first thing I thought of. Jumped on the couch. (It was orange and ugly and clashed with my hair, it deserved it.) Once I'd finished with that, I fiddled with their foosball table, slid down Carlos' pet slide Swirly...six or seven times, before settling on the couch with the guys, who were all staring at me bewilderedly (AN: isn't bewilderedly a fun word?). They'd obviously forgotten how hyper I can get.

"Well, that was fun." I said. They continued with their staring.

"Hey, why don't you show me the pool?" I tried, knowing that all four boys have a slight addiction to the pool. Nothing. Suddenly, I got a really great idea.

"James?"

"Um... yeah?" he asked, as if he was unsure he was the one I was talking to.

"Since you left and I got hot, I've had three boyfriends and one of them cheated on me."

"Okay," he answered still stunned. And in three, two, one... "WHAT! Who? When? Where? I'm going to kill them." His continuous rant seemed to break the others out of their trance. I smirked. Whether he likes it or not, James always has been and always will be my overprotective older brother.

I looked directly at Carlos and mouthed "Pool?" He nodded violently, his helmet nearly falling off. Logan and Kendall had witnessed this transaction and all three of them went to grab their stuff. Mine had been left in my apartment across the hall. In a quiet voice I said "James, we're going down to the pool. If you want to come with us stop talking now." He continued with his rant glaring at the wall like it was all its fault, not noticing we were leaving. "Well, that settles that." I lead the way out the door to my apartment. And then TO THE POOL!

James' POV

I only stopped talking when I heard a door slam. I looked around. The apartment was a hell of a lot quieter than usual. "Guys?" No answer. They'd probably left while I was rambling on. Some best friends they are. Well, this gave me a chance to think. Star was my baby sister she wasn't allowed to have boyfriends! Let alone three of them! And one of them cheated on her! If I ever got my hands on that douche I was going to make his life a living hell. Why would anyone even think of cheating on someone like star? She was just a baby for crying out loud!

_She's not a baby anymore James._

(AN: _James'_ conscience is in_ italics, _James is in _**bold and italics**_)

_**Who said that?**_

_Who do you think said that? It's me, your conscience. Last time we spoke you named me Paul._

_**Oh yeah. Hi Paul. Well, what do you want?**_

_Referring back to my earlier point, Star's not a baby anymore, dipwad._

_**Yeah she is! And you're mean.**_

_She's sixteen. You were eleven when you had your first girlfriend._

_**But this isn't me we are talking about! And don't you dare bring Sarah into this!**_

_Her name is Tanya. Anyway you need to open your eyes pretty boy. She's falling for your best friend._

_**My eyes are open! And I know. I saw them earlier today. Her and Logan. But he's with Camille, he likes Camille! **_

_So your sister likes your friend who's dating the girl you love. Hmm, interesting..._

_**How do you know I'm in love with Camille?**_

_Duh, I'm inside your head! And to quote a very handsome friend of mine (ahem, you.) it is possible to like more than one person at a time._

"Shut up!" I yelled out loud, frustrated. My best friend and my little sister? I couldn't let that happen. Now, where would they have gone?

Normal POV

Meanwhile, down at the pool...

**So what did you think? I told you it was short. Please please please review! Reviews are beautiful. You're beautiful. So give me a beautiful review and I'll love you forever and ever! You don't even have to say anything about the story just say hi! Ok I'm and I'll shut up now!**

**Lots of love **

**Ellen**

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys I'm baaaack! And it's 2:03 in the morning. Why am I updating now you ask? So I answer: I have no idea!**

**Disclaimer: if I owned BTR they would be shirtless in every scene. So you can see that I, unfortunately, do not own BTR. But I do own Star and if any one tries to take her away from me I will not be impressed.**

**Now on to chapter... umm, what chapter are we on? Oh yeah thanks. Three! #Three is a magic number...#**

Chapter 3

Logie-Poo and Ice Packs

Star's POV

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Logan, stop being daft!"

"I'm not being daft!"

"So, you're telling me that if teleportation devices were invented during your lifetime you would put yourself forward for testing them?"

"Yes, Star, I would."

"But, why?"

"Because then I could say that I was one of the first people _ever_ to be successfully teleported, duh!"

"Don't you 'Duh' me! And if it wasn't successful you'd be one of the first people to test teleportation and end up scattered across the atmosphere with little possibility of being put back together. In other words, for all intents and purposes, you'd be dead."

"But if it did work then I would be famous!"

"You're already famous! Just coming down here you were stopped three times by fans asking for autographs!"

"But I'd be the scientific kind of famous."

"Oh dear God."

I sighed. His logic made no sense but I knew I couldn't convince him to see sense. Let him figure it multiple cannonballs. He was getting pretty much everyone within a fifteen metre radius soaked but he either didn't notice or just didn't care. Probably the latter. Logan had cleverly located our sun beds twenty metres from him but still next to the pool so we had a perfect view of everyone else get wet. It was quite funny. Kendall had left to find his girlfriend, Jo. He said he figured me and her would really 'hit it off'. God that was so '80's.

Logan sat up, looking cocky, to triumphantly gloat about how superior he was (yeah, good luck with that dude) when suddenly this chick came up out of the blue and slapped him hard across the face. I was shocked and just kind of stared for a while but Logan looked up at her and smiled at her. He stood up and gave the Crazy a kiss. I felt my heart sink but I wasn't fully able to acknowledge it as I was still in a state of shock. Crazy looked at me with something close to venom in her eyes. What did I do to deserve that?

"Star, this is my girlfriend, Camille. Camille, this is my friend from Minnesota and James' little sister, Star." There he said it. The dreaded word, girlfriend. As soon as Crazy felt his eyes on her, her expression changed drastically so that she looked almost, I don't know, normal? But, unfortunately no one can look completely normal in a cow-girl outfit, complete with astronaut boots, pirate hat and eye patch.

"Oh so, you're the girl the guys won't shut up about!" her voice and smile started to get a little forced. "Nice to meet you!"

"Um, yeah, you too, Cr- I mean Camille!"Despite my excellent attempt at disguising my little slip-up she obviously noticed it.

"Well, I got to go. I've a huge audition that could possibly change my entire life! I'll call you later, okay, Logie-Poo?"

Did she just say Logie-Poo?

"Sure thing sweetie. Break a leg!" said Logie-Poo.

"Or two." I said under my breath. Well that's what I thought. They turned to me, Logan confused and Camille irritated. "Um, you know, whichever you're more comfortable with." She walked away blowing Logan a kiss and fixing me with a glare before she got out of view. I knew what that meant. She didn't like me. Oh how will I get over the disappointment. For those of you too dense to realise, that was sarcasm.

"Well. She seems... nice... ish. Maybe?"

"I know she's a little much at first but you have to get to know her. Underneath all the... uh..."

"Crazy?" I offered.

"Crazy, she's a really great person. She's just kind of an acquired taste."

I stood up and looked him in the eye. He stared right back and we had quiet for a second. Well except for Carlos screaming "Kowabunga!" and the splashes and laughter that followed. Then I got tired of the silence. We Diamond's are extremely impatient.

"Why did she slap you? I mean, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. And I don't know, she does that a lot but it's okay, I'm used to it."

"The right side of your face is turning red."

"Really? It does sting a little. There's an icepack in Carlos' bag. Could you get it for me?"

As I searched through the bag which was really big, I asked "And Carlos has an icepack in here because..."

"He manages to get hit in the head a lot and he occasionally forgets his helmet."

"Ah, I see." I found it, wrapped it in my towel, and held it to his cheek. I tripped in my flip-flops and stumbled. He caught me by putting his hands on my hips and by reflex I put my hand on his shoulder. I lost myself in his eyes although I was slightly uncomfortable with the close proximity now I knew he had a girlfriend. Not that I had to deal with the closeness for very long.

"Get away from my sister!" James appeared out of nowhere and tackled Logan into the pool.

"James, what are you doing?" I yelled, suddenly joined by Carlos, Kendall and the girl I guessed was Kendall's girlfriend, Jo. Logan burst through the water gasping for air, James a second later. He took a moment to cough up a lungful of water before starting a yelling war.

"How dare you try to kiss my sister?"

"I wasn't trying to kiss your sister! How dare you tackle me into the pool?"

"I know you like her! The little voice in my head called Paul told me so!"

"James!" I yelled.

"What? Can't you see I'm a little busy trying to protect your virtue over here?"

"My virtue? Do you hear yourself? The little voice in your head named Paul told you Logan's into me? That's what people get put into asylums for saying."

"Well, he didn't just say that. He also said you like him back."

"James, you do know how crazy you sound right now, don't you?"

"But I, you... and he was... Paul said... Aggh!"

With that a very confused and wet James hauled himself out of the pool and went into the lobby dripping all over the carpets, still muttering to himself. I watched him go, worried about his sanity, sighed, then tuned and said to the pretty, blond girl, "Hi, I'm Star, the psycho's little sister."

"Hey, I'm Jo, Kendall's girlfriend. I like your shoes."

"Thanks. I like your watch."

Hmm. She didn't seem half bad. Maybe we would, as Kendall so put it, 'hit it off'.

Nah, still way too '80's.

**I think this one's longer than the others... Yay!  
Okay so tell me what you think and I'll stop nagging you about it 'kay?  
Thanks!  
Ellen  
xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! I've stayed up since midnight writing this for you and now it's 3:14. That's in the AM, people! So, yeah, you're welcome. Please please please review! All reviewers get a shout out in the next chapter!**

**My heroes are still Dan Schneider, Guppy and Dr. Sheldon Cooper.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to do this? I'm writing a fanfiction, aren't I? **

**Chapter 4**

**Punching mirrors**

**Star's POV**

Jo and I were officially BFF's. Only problem was Jo was also BFF's with Camille, who still had some kind of a problem with me. And would not shut up about Logan. Logan did this, Logan did that, I told Logan. I was having a hard time keeping my fists to myself. I'd already broken Jo's favourite bracelet ("Kendall gave me that!"). Twice. The three of us were out for lunch at some fancy restaurant that I can't remember the name of. The director of Jo's TV show was treating... He just didn't know about it. Camille was going on and on about how she wanted Logan to get a tattoo of her face on his forearm. Apparently he had refused profusely, which made me perk up a little. I still had to excuse myself to the bathroom to avoid punching her face in. What did he see in Camille anyways? She talked way too much, slapped him all the time and was so overly possessive and fond of PDAs. I found it sickening. I knew I wasn't supposed to get myself so worked up but before I could get a grip on it, I felt myself slipping away. And then... that all too familiar darkness.

**Stella's POV**

She lost it. About time too. I've been sitting in the back of her head dealing with that Camille chick for like a week. And now all of Star Diamond's anger is seeping into me. I have to hit something. I have always favoured my left hand over my right. Funny. Star favours her right. I swing my left fist and feel something break. Perfect. I feel the anger draining away and seep back into Star's sub-conscious.

**Star's POV**

I felt an agonizing pain in my left hand. There were bits of glass all over the place. The mirror. Oh, crud. I couldn't help it anymore. I screamed in pain. Two waitresses, the manager, Jo and Camille came rushing in.

"Star!" Jo yelled. "Oh my God, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I... I don't know." What had happened?

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I'm not sure. I think I punched the mirror."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"I don't know. I don't even remember doing it."

"What? We have to get you to the hospital, now."

We left the restaurant after Jo called her director and told him to sort things out for us. Poor guy. The manager looked very scary, and I've seen Jo's director. Winnie the Pooh is more intimidating. When we got to the hospital I was rushed to surgery to get the glass out of my hand leaving Jo and Camille to explain things to the doctor and the guys. I'll give you three guesses which was going to be harder.

**Logan's POV**

What had happened? I wasn't completely sure. Camille and Jo called the guys and me, and Mrs. Knight and told them to get right down to the hospital. Star was still in surgery when we arrived and Camille had gone back to the Palm Woods. Jo was sitting by herself staring into space when we burst in. James' eyes did a quick sweep of the waiting room (which was surprisingly empty) landing on her. He stalked right up to her, us following and asked though gritted teeth "What happened to Star?"

"We were having lunch and she went to the bathroom. We heard her scream so we ran in and she was surrounded by glass. She said she might have punched the mirror. She said she wasn't sure if she did or not." Jo broke down into tears. Kendall sat next to her and pulled her into her lap, holding her as she cried.

James, speechless for the first time since he was three, stood there for a minute, processing this information. Then he went to the other side of the room and slumped into a chair. For the first time since I'd met him he looked as if a part of him had been stolen. Carlos surprised everyone by doing something sensible and going to call Mrs. Knight and Katie, to see when they would get here. When he came back he had two plastic cups of water. He gave one to Jo and the other to James. Then he sat beside James. He didn't say anything, just sat there. James looked at him and, as if Carlos had given him the strength, he started to cry. I would never have thought of that. Me, I did what I always did to relieve my stress. I paced. I was the only one in the band, aside from James of course, who knew about Star's condition. James didn't know I knew. But, Star and I had been very close back in Minnesota. I missed that. And Stella had broken my nose in seventh grade. Mrs. Knight and Katie joined us soon enough. Three long hours later the doctor came out.

"Star Diamond?" We all stood up.

"Well? What happened? Is Star okay?" James asked hurriedly.

"Miss Diamond is going to be fine. We got all the glass out and the anaesthesia has had no negative effects on her. She woke up about fifteen minutes ago. She's been asking for James, Carlos, Logan, Kendall, Jo, someone called Mama Knight, Katie, oh but if Camille is here she, quote un-quote, 'needn't bother coming in'."

"She's okay." Jo said. "If she still doesn't like Camille, she'll be grand." What's this problem with Camille?

"You may go in and see her now. Please don't overwhelm her; the operation will have left her feeling a little fragile. Room 213."

"Thank you doctor."

We went to her room and found her, sitting up in her bed flicking furiously through the channels on the tiny little TV in the corner. She turned it off, tossed the remote on the bed and faced us.

"Stupid TV only has five channels." She said. We all sighed with relief and James ran to embrace his sister.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm so sorry, James." She said as he pulled away. "I don't remember what happened but, I know I went into the bathroom and then blank. Next thing I knew I woke up and there was a doctor with really bad breath staring down at me. Now I know how lab-rats feel."

"Um, you punched a mirror." Jo said, slowly, going to her other side. "And then afterwards, you said you didn't remember if you had or not." Star was silent for a few minutes.

"Oh," she said, finally understanding. "Well. That's the first time that's happened since seventh grade."

"What?" Kendall, Carlos, Jo, Mrs. Knight and Katie asked at the same time.

"I'll explain later!" James whisper-shouted over his shoulder at them.

"No, you'll explain now!" Katie whisper-shouted back at him, pulling him out of the room by the ear. I hung back. I didn't need to hear the explanation. Star told me herself when we were thirteen. Katie poked her head around the door when she saw I wasn't following. "You coming Logan? You must be just as confused as we are."

"No, I've actually known since eighth grade."

"WHAT! How?" James said appearing next to Katie.

"Yeah, when Stella broke my nose."

"Who's Stella?" Katie asked. We, being the gentlemen we are, ignored her completely and went on with our conversation. She'd find out in about fifteen seconds anyway.

"You said your brother broke your nose!" James yelled.

"He did. After Stella did. My nose has gone through quite a lot of beatings." I said rubbing it at the memories. James looked flabbergasted at this, but let it go. **(AN: Flabbergasted is actually a word. How awesome is that!)** He closed the door and then it was just us. Then I couldn't hold it in any longer. She had to know how worried I was.

"Don't do that again. You have no idea how worried I was."

"I'm sorry, Logan. You know I can't control it. Something sets me off and that's it. I don't remember much but I do know you should be thankful it wasn't your girlfriend I smashed into iddy-biddy pieces."

"You mean Camille set you off? How? What did she do?"

"I don't know. I can't remember I just know it was definitely her. I don't want to talk about it." She looked around the room trying to find something else to talk about. She seemed defeated and slumped back in her bed. Then she perked up. "Hey you wouldn't go to my apartment and grab my guitar for me, would you? I have some lyrics buzzing around in my head, and they have no beat, and they're going to drive me insane!" I chuckled at her

"Sure, I will. Wait can you play with your hand all taped up like that?"

"I think so. I asked Dr. Whatshisname, and he said I probably could. Even if I can't, I think straighter with Lulu around anyway." I laughed. "What's so funny!"

"You! I can't believe you still call your guitar Lulu!"

"What's wrong with Lulu?" she demanded.

"Nothing, nothing. I'll go get her. Give me a half hour."

As I turned to go Star called me back. "Logan?" I turned around. "Don't get that tattoo of Camille. It just wouldn't be right." She shifted her position so her back was to me.

**Stella's POV**

Star shifts her position so her back is to Logan. She hears the door close and his footsteps echo down the hallway. A tear makes its way down her cheek. She remembers it all.

**Meanwhile down in the hospital cafeteria.**

**Katie's POV**

I nearly spat out my coffee. Star was schizophrenic? "But, how? I mean, you don't just become schizophrenic. Something has to happen to you."

"Oh, something happened alright." James said. "When Star was six and I was seven, she watched our dad die. He was crossing the street to get her some ice cream and she called him back to tell him she wanted sprinkles. He stopped in the middle of the street and he got hit by a bus. He was declared dead on the way to the hospital. Star blames herself for that to this day." He was starting to choke up. I put my hand on his and squeezed. He smiled at me to thank me and squeezed back.

"What?" Carlos and Kendall yelled. "She was six! She couldn't have known." They said simultaneously. They looked really angry. Mom put a hand on their arms to make them calm down, and nodded at James to continue.

"A couple of weeks after the funeral things were going back to normal. Then Stella (Star's other personality) came out and never fully left. She doesn't talk, she only comes out when Star gets angry about something. She punches or kicks something and then goes away, leaving Star to pick up the pieces."

Kendall sighed. "It's weird. This all happened because of sprinkles."We were all silent for a while. Then I thought of something. I turned to Jo.

"Jo? What happened at the restaurant? I mean, what set her off?"

"I don't know. It all seemed fine to me. Camille was talking about Logan not wanting a tattoo of her face on his arm, and then Star excused herself to the bathroom. That was all, really."

This is weird. I looked at Jo and Mom. They were both tearing up at James' story, as I'm sure I was. Kendall and Carlos looked like they wanted to bring Star and James' grandfather back to life, just so they could kill him again. James just looked sad.

**So? What did you think? I thought it was okay considering how sleep deprived I am.  
REVIEW! Please?**

**Peace Love Jonas**

**Peace Love BTR**

**Peace Love FanFic**

**Ellen**

**xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Humming in my Sleep

Star's POV

When Logan returned with my guitar everyone had already left so I pretended to be asleep. He hung around for about an hour before he finally gave up. He sighed. It was as if he was annoyed because I was 'asleep' and maybe he wanted to tell me something. But I couldn't talk to him. He'd want to talk about Camille and I just couldn't do that. He kissed my forehead and whispered something to himself. Or maybe it was to me. It sounded like 'I'm sorry' but what did he have to be sorry for? That didn't make any sense.

He'd left nearly two hours ago and I was nearly finished with my song. I had the first verse, the bridge and the chorus but I was having trouble with the second verse. For some reason nothing I came up with worked. I was running out of ideas so I decided to sing what I had so far and just play through the second verse.

**Nobody listens to me, don't hear a single thing I've said  
Say anything to soothe me, anything to get you from my head  
Don't know how really I feel,  
The faith it takes to make like I don't care  
Don't know how much it hurts to turn around like you were never there  
Like somehow you could be replaced and I could walk away from the promises we made  
And swore we'd never break!**

_**[Chorus]**_**  
I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me  
I thought I'd never your sweet face again.  
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went  
but I kept the moments that we were in  
'Cause I hoped in my heart, that you would come back to me my friend  
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you!  
**

**{Second Verse}**

****_**[Chorus] **_**  
I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me  
I thought I'd never your sweet face again.  
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went  
but I kept the moments that we were in  
'Cause I hoped in my heart, that you would come back to me, my friend  
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you!**

I told myself I wouldn't sleep 'til I searched the world from sea to sea

I made a wish upon a star, I turned around and there you were

And now here we are, are  
here we are  
I thought I lost you  
I thought I lost you too  
I thought I lost you  
I thought I lost you  
Yeah

_**[Chorus] **_**  
I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me  
I thought I'd never your sweet face again.  
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went  
but I kept the moments that we were in  
and I knew in my heart, that you would come back to me, my friend  
And now I got you, I thought I lost you!**

but I thought I lost you

I thought I lost you too

so glad I got you, got you

so glad I got you, yeah yeah  
I thought I lost you

I thought I lost you too  


It was obvious the song was about James. He'd always been there for me and I had completely shut him out. I would never turn my back on him ever again. He deserved better than that. There was the sound of clapping from the doorway. Well, speak (or, in this case sing) of the devil. James was standing by the door with a look that said he was genuinely impressed.

"I didn't know you were there." I said putting down my guitar.

"I didn't know you still wrote songs." He countered.

"Maybe if you answered a call every once in a while, you would."

"Look, I know I was a jerk and I'm sorry about that. Can we both make an effort to act like a family for a while?"

"I thought that was what we were doing. But okay, I guess we can try. When I leave you have to answer my calls, agreed?"

"Agreed. Now what was that song you were playing?"

"Oh, it's a new one I'm working on. It's not really all that good."

"Are you kidding me it's amazing! Or at least the part I heard was anyway."

"Well, thanks. I'm kind of stuck on the second verse but I'm getting there."

"Can I have a look?"

"Oh, I don't know, it's not that good and it's not even finished yet..."

"Oh, come on, let me see it!"

I continued to refuse so he began to tickle me. Which is just plain evil in my opinion! Everyone thinks I'm not ticklish but James knows that there is a very tiny section of my back that will get me to give up anything. Within fifteen seconds he had the song lyrics in his hand.

"Oh well, would you look at the title? 'For my dearest, darlingest, handsomest big brother, the one and only, James Diamond.' You shouldn't have."

"Umm, I don't believe I did." He stuck his tongue out at me. (I thought I was supposed to be the childish one.)

"Wow, Star. This is really good. Probably the best you've ever written. And your singing voice has gotten better; I heard it in the hallway." He snapped his fingers like he always did when he got an idea. "How about once you spring this joint, you come down to the studio and record this with us?"

Oh, no. "I don't know. I'm not really comfortable singing in front of people, I just kind of freeze up."

"Come on, it would be great! Brother-sister collaboration. And it would just be me and the guys, no-one else."

_Which means Logan will be there, _I thought. I looked at his face, which was a bad idea. Stupid puppy dog eyes. I grimaced. He wasn't going to give up.

"I guess I could give it a go." I sighed.

"Yes! I'll tell the guys straight away."

The head nurse, a tiny little woman called Nancy, poked her head around the door. "Sorry sweeties, but I'm afraid visiting hours are up."

"Oh okay, I was just leaving. I'll see you tomorrow." James said patting my knee.

"Oh, and Star dear, you should be discharged in the morning."

"Thanks, Nancy." She smiled and trotted off.

"So, I'll come get you in the morning and take you home." James told me. It wasn't a question it was more of a statement, but I answered anyway.

"Sure, see you then. Love you."

"Love you too." He closed the door and turned off the lights. As soon as my head hit the anti-bacterial pillow (**AN: I can't stand hospitals!**) I fell fast asleep. The lyrics to the second verse of my song floated around in my head and I started humming in my sleep.

**I felt so empty out there,  
And there were days I had my doubts  
But I knew I'd find you somewhere  
Because I knew I couldn't live without  
You in my life for one more day  
And I swore I'd never break those promises we made  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the long wait. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR (although I really would love to. Damn it they are really cute.) I do own Star and the plot. Also the song used in the last chapter was 'I Thought I Lost You' by Miley Cyrus and John Travolta. So I don't own that either. All rights go to their respective owners. I'm not making a profit from this. **

**Enjoy!**

**Back-flipping for Record Deals**

**Chapter 6**

**Star's POV**

I got out of the hospital on Friday, spent two days relaxing in what I like to call recuperation when really it's just me being lazy and then _bam!_ Into the studio we go.

**I thought I lost you  
I thought I lost you too**

As James and I finished the last line, the other guys jumped up from their seats and cheered. Guess they hadn't known I could sing. I'm really not all that good and that track would need some serious mixing but all Diamond's can sing a little bit. I suppose you could say it runs in the family.

"Wow, Star! That was amazing! I had no idea you could sing like that." Kendall exclaimed, pushing the button on the microphone so we could hear him. I hung my headphones over the mic stand and followed James out of the recording booth.

"You wrote this? It's way better than any of Gustavo's!" That was Carlos.

"We have got to put this on our next album. People would freak! A brother/sister duet. The fans would love it." Logan and his stupid, _stupid_ smartness. James, Carlos and Kendall seemed to think this was a great idea (which it was _not_!) and started discussing it. Before I could even start a thought process on how to argue with them, someone screamed. I swear I jumped at least ten feet in the air. (Okay, maybe not _ten _feet but, it sure felt like it.)

"WHAT WAS THAT?" An extremely large man in ray-bans and a backwards baseball cap shouted. I will admit I was a little bit intimidated but I don't think it showed too much. I did back up a little to stand just to the left and slightly behind Logan but that was just a precaution. Yeah maybe he took my hand to calm me down. Yes maybe I liked it a little more than I should have. But it is not because I have any romantic feelings towards him whatsoever. It is _not!_

"Good morning Gustavo." James said calmly. "Star, this is our producer Gustavo. Gustavo, this is my little sister Star."

"What is it doing here?" Gustavo demanded.

"Did he just call me an _it_?" I asked Logan.

"Don't worry. He calls us dogs. And occasionally, monkey-dogs." He told me, frowning slightly as he said 'monkey-dogs'.

"That does not make any sense."

"No, it does not."

I tuned back into the conversation. A pretty, dark-skinned woman came in, holding a clipboard and a blackberry. I recognised her as Kelly, the girl who picked me up from the airport. She's really nice. I should be sure to ask her to coffee someday.

"Hey, Kelly." I greeted her. She looked up from her phone. She smiled when she saw me.

"Star! What's up?" she said happily as she came to give me a hug.

"Not much, you? How's the new apartment?" I remembered her talking about moving when we were talking last. I had immediately offered my services (re: James' services) to help with boxes but she said she'd already finished with those.

"It's great. You should totally come over sometime!"

"Awesome."

"EXCUSE ME!" Gustavo yelled at us effectively ending our gossip session. We turned to him with equal looks of annoyance on our faces. We must have been quite a sight because he actually cowered a bit. Then he asked in a much quieter voice; "What was that song you were singing?"

"It's called 'I thought I lost you'. I wrote it a few days ago."

"You wrote that?"

I nodded. He paused working the new information through his evidently small brain. Then,

"I hate it."

"What? Why? You haven't even heard it yet." I told him, furious. I mean, sure I've heard better but he shouldn't bag on it before it's been properly recorded.

"Don't worry Star." Logan said, shooting a glare in Gustavo's direction. "He says he hates every song that he didn't write. Secretly he loved it and he's jealous."

I pondered this for a moment. "Really?" He nodded. I looked at Gustavo who was scowling and said in a sickly-sweet voice, "Thank you! That's so sweet."

"We're going to put it on our next album." James said leaning up against the soundboard and crossing his arms. Kendall was sitting in the spinny chair next to Carlos and Logan was still standing next to me and holding my hand (sigh. Wait what?) while Kelly had gone to stand next to Gustavo.

"No you're not! Only Gustavo's songs go on Gustavo's album!" Gustavo looked like he might blow a gasket. It was quite hilarious. Carlos and Kendall had already succumbed to the giggles. James was trying and failing to scowl at the producer. Logan's entire body was shaking with unshed laughter. I was digging my nails into my palm to distract myself. It wasn't working. Just seconds before I felt I would explode, Kelly spoke up. A my knight in shining Louboutins.

"Gustavo, it's not your album. It says 'Big Time Rush' on the cover. The guys have to get a say in what songs we use for it too." Have I mentioned how much I love Kelly Wainright? Well, if I haven't, it's a hell of a lot!

"Ahh, fine! But it's just Skye and James,"

"My name is Star."

"Whatever. Other dogs, come with me. Mr. X is waiting for you in the dance studio. Kelly, fix that song, get permission from her parents, yada-yada-yada... and get me a coffee."

"She'll need to sign a record deal."

"A record deal?" I asked incredulously. I didn't want a record deal. I wanted to go home and sleep for 500 days. Gustavo waved his hand dismissively at us mumbled something about needing an aspirin and slammed the door shut.

"If I get a record deal that means I stay here in LA right?" Kelly nodded. "So I don't go home? I stay at the Palm Woods."

"Yep."

So we recorded and re-recorded and re-re-recorded the song. While the others were in the dance studio they set up a web cam to record the rehearsal and put on their website. As I watched it lying on my bed later that night, looking at Logan doubled over in laughter, Carlos attempting a back-flip and Kendall messing up a spin and landing flat on his face, I realised something. I was glad I was staying here. Sure, I would miss my friends, Chi-Chi, Fia and Day, and my mom and even my stepdad, but that became worth it when I saw Logan's tired face light up as he found out I wasn't leaving. It had been a long day but seeing as Logan had walked me home and joked about seeing me the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and so on, it seemed like it was worth it.

Watch out Los Angeles. Star Diamond is here to stay.

**So what did you think? Please please let me know.  
Next chapter should be up soon, I promise. I'm really sorry about the long wait.  
Until next time!  
Ellen  
xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! I know it's been ages since I last posted and I am so sorry! I had these really big exams last week and then this week my mom confiscated my laptop. Apparently, you're not supposed to be on the computer till 5 AM. Who knew, right? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or any characters or trademarks affiliated with that brand. (But if I did, the guys would be shirtless **_**all**_** the time.) I do however own Star Diamond and all other OCs that are not recognised from the show. I also own the rights to the plot.**

**This is the link for Star's outfit in this chapter (just remove the spaces): www. polyvore .com /stars_outfit_chpt/set?id=27407635 **

**Break Ups and I Love You's**

**Chapter 7**

**Star's POV**

"I think I'm in love."

"Really? With who?"

"With the pool. With LA. With you!"

Jo laughed. Yes I'm random but that's just who I am. We were lounging by the pool, reading through her new script for her TV show 'New Town High'. According to the guys (especially Kendall) her co-star, Jett Stetson, is a real jackass. The boys, or dogs as Gustavo calls them, were in the pool tossing a beach ball around. Kendall seemed kind of out of it. After ten minutes of getting hit in the head, he got out and asked Jo if he could speak to her. She said yes and looked at him expectantly. I shook my head at her, exasperated. Obviously he wanted to talk to her _alone._

"Umm... privately?" he asked. God he was really nervous. I wonder what he wanted to talk about. It was probably something stupid like why she doesn't like hockey, which I seriously don't get. Hockey is the best sport in the world. **(AN: it really is. I love hockey!)**

"Oh, umm, okay." She said, finally catching on. As they were heading towards the lobby, she turned back and mouthed at me, "_what's going on?_" I smirked at her. It's so much funnier when she thinks I know what's going on. Most of the time, I don't have a clue what's going on in my own life let alone hers!

James decided he wanted to see how long Carlos could hold his breath for underwater, so Logan got out before he could be involved in that. He came to sit next to me and I averted my gaze. The sight of Logan Mitchell with his stupid abs, dripping wet was enough to make any straight guy question his heterosexuality. Or any gay girl question their _homo_sexuality. Let's just say it wasn't helping my heartache. I'm going to focus on his face instead. Yeah, that's not working either. He looked... troubled. Great. It was probably something about Camille and I'd have to give him advice on how to keep his girlfriend happy. Oh joy.

"Listen, Camille's still on me about getting that tattoo. Do you honestly think it could be that bad?"

I groaned inwardly. _Yes, it _could_ be that bad._

"Look Logan, you're only eighteen. If you and Camille are still together in a couple of years, then you should get it. But say you got it now and then you guys broke up, it'd just be a constant reminder that you're not with her anymore. Jo told me you guys haven't even said 'I love you' yet. Why would you get a permanent mark of someone you're not even sure you love?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. And, hey, she's not the boss of me! If I want to get a tattoo, well then I'll get a tattoo! And if I don't, then I won't!"

"Good for you! Look at little Logie-Poo, asserting his independence! I feel so proud!" I waved my hand in front of my eyes, like I was about to cry.

"Oh, shut up!" he said, mock hurt, pushing me playfully. He was smiling though and within ten seconds we were both rolling on the floor laughing. It was the first time I'd ever actually ROFLed! We were still laughing (although we'd managed to get back on our sun beds) a half hour later, when Camille showed up with a very large tattooed man She scanned the pool area, caught sight of us and dragged the dude over_. Wow, I just can't catch a break, can I?_ I stopped laughing when they approached and Logan too sobered up the second he saw them. I'm not sure what I was more afraid of, the biker dude who looked like he could crush me into a pulp with his bare hands, or the look of malice on Camille's face. I looked between them for a second. Yeah, definitely Camille.

"Rusty, this is my boyfriend, Logan. Logan, this is Rusty, the tattoo artist." She said calmly introducing them. _It's official. A break cannot be caught._

"Huh?" Logan grunted, dumbfounded. **(AN: Dumbfounded. Another cool word.)**

"I'm gonna be giving you your tattoo of this little girlie's face." Rusty said sticking his hand out for a shake. After Logan stared at it for awhile, Rusty dropped it to his side. "Well," he said, clapping his hands, "Let's get down to business shall we?" he started setting up his equipment. Wait, you use needles for tattoos right? Rusty. Needles. Rusty-needles. Rusty needles. Oh dear. As soon as I worked this out in my head, I hit Logan lightly on the arm. He looked at me and I whispered my newfound revelation to him. He found his tongue then!

"No no no, let's not get down to any business! Camille can I talk to you in the lobby for a second?" he didn't wait for an answer, just sort of dragged her with him. Rusty and I watched them leave, and then sat together in an awkward silence. Then he looked at me and offered his hand for a shake. I took it.

"How you doing?" he asked. **(AN: You know, like Joey from Friends' pick-up line.)**

I looked at him critically and said, "I'm sixteen."

"Of course you are." He sighed and looked around the pool, before perking up considerably. "Hey, you want a tattoo?" I looked at him sceptically. Actually ever since I was four and my mom explained to me what a tattoo is, I'd wanted one.

"Well, I suppose. How long would it take?"

"With the latest technology, which I have, five minutes at the most." **(AN: I know it takes like two hours to get even the tiniest tattoo but that doesn't work with my story so I'd rather use this.)**

"Wow. That's fast."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Will it hurt?"

"A little, if you put any pressure on it till this time tomorrow."

"Can you do it here?"

"Right here, right now."

I looked around for any sign of James. I couldn't see him. He must've gone upstairs to fix his hair or something.

"Okay."

**Meanwhile in the lobby**

**Logan's POV**

I could not believe I was doing this. I was finally going to stand up for myself and say no to Camille. She was going to slap me. It would hurt. But I was still going to do this.

"Um, okay, I don't really know what to say right now so I'm just going to come straight out with it..." I started to say before she cut me off.

"Oh, I love you too, Logie-Poo!" Oh, dear.

"What? No. No. _No_." I said leaning away from her, stressing the last 'No'.

"Well, then, what is it?" a look of horror came on her face. "You're not... _gay_, are you?"

"NO! I'm not gay. I'm not getting this tattoo. It just doesn't feel right, at least, not right now."

"Oh. _She_ talked you out of it, didn't she?" Obviously she meant Star. Okay, seriously now guys, what was the problem between Camille and Star?

"I talked to a number of people and they all told me their opinions. I just happen to agree with Star's."

Camille's face had gone from happy, to horrified, to furious, to ever so slightly insane. She turned back towards the pool. "Rusty! We're leaving!"

"Just a second. I have to finish up this job." Rusty's voice echoed from the pool. Wait a minute. What job? "And done! What do you think? One of my finer pieces, if I do say so myself."

"Awesome! I love it!" Holy shit. That was Star's voice. James was going to throw a fit. I am officially dead.

**(AN: I originally wrote this as two separate chapters and this is where the first one would have ended. You didn't need to know that and you probably didn't want to, but, too bad. You didn't have to read this, you could have gone on with the story but you decided to read this. It's not my fault, it's yours.)**

Star ran up to me, Rusty following close behind her. Her smile was threatening to split her face in half as she skidded to a stop in front of me. "Dude, check it out!" she lifted up the side of her shirt to reveal her blue bikini and three words in black ink 'Live, Laugh, Love', Star's slogan. I had to admit, Rusty had excellent penmanship and he was a fast worker. Star's always been hot (James doesn't need to know I think that!) but with her new tattoo, on a scale from one to ten I'd say she was about a fifteen. But back to the situation at hand;

"Your brother is going to kill me." Her smile dimmed a little bit, but it came back full force a few seconds later.

"No. He's not, because he's not going to see it or hear about it. And if he does, well then, you have nothing to do with it." I contemplated this for a while. It _was_ a good idea.

"Well, if you're sure... I really like it." She beamed at me.

"Thanks! I've always wanted one and now I finally have it!"

"Ahem!" Rusty interrupted, coming up behind her. "That will be $250, please and thank you."

"Tell me the address of your tattoo parlour; I'll mail you a cheque." Rusty raised one eyebrow and crossed his arms giving her a _bitch, please_ look. Star sighed. "I'm staying in apartment 2K. If I haven't paid by the end of next week you can send some thug to beat me up." Am I a bad friend to James for not having stepped in here and stopped a thug from potentially killing his little sister?

Rusty pondered this arrangement before nodding and rattling his address off to her. They shook hands and Rusty nodded to me and Camille, before waltzing out of there, whistling.

"So, does it hurt?" I asked, curious.

"Not really. He said it only would if I put any pressure on it till this time tomorrow."

"Oh is that the new tech-" SLAP!

"Logan Mitchell, we are officially over!" Camille shrieked. She looked very angry as she stalked towards the elevators, pushing away anyone who dared to come between her and her destination. I rubbed my stinging cheek. Slaps like that had to count as domestic abuse! James, Carlos and Kendall walked up to us, gazing after her. Kendall had an arm around Jo, who had been smiling before she'd heard Camille's outburst.

"Tough break, man" Kendall said, clapping me on the back.

"Don't worry, dude. She wasn't good enough for you anyway." James sympathised.

"Plenty of other fish in the sea." Carlos advised. I heard them but I wasn't really able to respond. I was kind of in shock.

"I'm so sorry, Logan! I know how much you liked her." Jo said. I looked at Star. She looked almost as shocked as I felt. When she caught my eye I realised that she thought it was her fault Camille had dumped me!

"Logan. Oh my gosh, you have no idea how sorry I am! I know that was all my fault." She said wringing her hands. That certainly snapped me out of my reverie. I smiled at her.

"Are you kidding me? I was going to break up with her! And how was that your fault? If anything it was hers for being too pushy." She didn't seem completely sure so I pulled her in for a hug. She stood frozen for a second before she relaxed into me. Nicest hug ever!

"Okay, okay, we get it, Star's a hero, can I say my great news now?" Jo interrupted. Star pulled back from me, not completely letting go, locking her hands at the small of my back. She looked expectantly at Jo.

"This had better be good." She said threateningly.

"Kendall told me... he told me..."

"Spit it out, I'm missing out on hugging time over here!"

"He told me he loves me!" Jo squealed. Star pushed me away immediately and grabbed Jo. Kendall looked a little embarrassed as we slapped him on the back chuckling and grinning.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! No way! I'm so happy for you!" Star squealed hugging her. Jo hugged her back and her hand landed on Star's tattoo.

"Ow!" Star exclaimed, jumping away from her. Then she froze as did I. She wasn't supposed to do that. Luckily for us, she got over it very quickly. "Um, some guys were tossing a football at the pool and it hit me in the side. It's still kind of sore, but, don't worry Doctor Logan has taken a look and it's just a 'mild hematoma'." She said (lied). "They apologized after and I even got one of their numbers." She turned to Jo. "I'm not going to call him though. He wasn't that cute and was kind of sleazy."

"I'm gonna kill them." James told her, already balling his fists.

"We'll help." Kendall and Carlos said simultaneously.

"No, no, no, okay, there's no reason to go killing anybody. Logan already did the whole 'big brother act' and scared them off."

"I did?" I asked her, confused.

"You did!" Star insisted.

"I did!" I said, finally catching on. God I know I'm smart but I can be really dumb sometimes!

"Oh, well, thanks bro. I owe you one." James said after a moment, opening his fists.

"Dude, you say that every time I do something nice for you! At this point, you owe me, like, at least twenty." I smirked at him.

"Yeah, well, we'll work it out!"

"Just to be clear, no one's killing anyone, right?" Star asked, leaning towards us. We looked at each other and nodded. "Good." She turned to Jo. "How did he say it? Did he blurt it out by accident and go all awkward? Or did he have some big speech prepared? How did you say it back? You _did_ say you love him back, didn't you?" They walked towards the couches as Jo began a very detailed recollection of the previous events. Perhaps a little too detailed for Kendall's liking.

"Oh, do you have to tell her? Can't you guys just talk about ... _shoes_ or something?" he pleaded as they laughed and walked away. We chuckled at him. Poor guy.

I caught myself watching Star as she left. Her laugh was maybe the best sound I'd ever heard. Oh, man, I've got the hots for my best friend's little sister.

Crud.

**Well? What do you think? Please please please review!  
Virtual cookies to everyone who reviews!  
Thanks!  
Ellen  
xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**HEY! So I'm kind of a douche for making you wait so long but the internet's being temperamental, so, it's not really my fault. Hope you enjoy, please review!**

**Oh, by the way, do any of you watch Glee? If you do then you should really read alien09's story North. Its Puckleberry though, so if you don't like don't read. **

**Sorry if any of the lyrics here are wrong. I was doing them genuinely by ear. Like I said, temperamental internet. So it's a no-go on YouTube. **

**Also it has come to my attention that because of how in my summary it says 'OC death' some people were confused. I was talking about Mr. Diamond, Star and James' dad. But now that the idea has been put out there I am considering another death. This is also because I recently realized that I suck royally at writing happy endings. Sorry about that.**

**Disclaimer: (Insert witty disclaimer here.)**

**Smiling in my dreams  
Chapter 8  
Star's POV**

It's been two weeks since the drama of Camille and Logan had gone down. My tattoo had healed and just about everybody except my mom and James knew about it. Hell, even Gustavo knew. He liked it though. Said it made me into a 'bad girl' or a rebel or something like that, and that that was going to be my image from now on. I'd just finished my new song, and, if I do say so myself, it was pretty good. Gustavo had asked (told) me to write a love song, but since when have I done things conventionally? It was a little different, but still a love song and it was surprisingly easy to write. _I was not thinking of Logan as I wrote it. I was NOT! _I was playing it through once more, thinking about the melody, when I heard a slow clap from the doorway behind me. I whirled around and, low and behold, there he was, Mr. Logan Mitchell, leaning against the doorframe.

"Wow, Star. That was really good." He said as he shifted his feet and thrust his hands in his pockets. Probably trying to make it look like he _hadn't_ been spying on me.

"Must everyone sneak up behind me while I am singing?" I asked, dramatically throwing my hands in the air and twirling them as I spoke. He chuckled.

"I'm sorry." I narrowed my eyes at him. _No, you're not. _"No, actually, I'm not. That was really good. Did you just finish it?"

"Yeah, just now. I'm still working on the melody, but, I'm getting there."

"Do you mind if I sing a bit?"

I shrugged and tossed him the sheet music. I'd played it so many times I practically knew it off by heart. I played the first few bars and then he started to sing.

_**(Stay the Night by James Blunt)  
**_**(Logan, ****Star,**_Both_**)**

**Oooooooh  
Oooooooh  
Oooooooh  
Hey!**

**It's 72 degrees  
Zero chance of rain  
It's been a perfect day**

**We're all spinning on our heels  
So far away from real  
In Californ-I-A**

**We watched the sunset from our car  
We all took it in**

**And by the time that it was dark  
You and me had something yeah**

_And if this is what we've got  
Then what we've got is gold  
We're shining bright and I want you  
I want you to know  
The morning's on its way  
Our friends all say goodbye  
There's nowhere else to go  
I hope that you'll _

**Stay the night**

**Oooooooh  
Oooooooh  
Oooooooh  
Yeah**

**We've been singing Billy Jean  
Mixing vodka with caffeine  
We got strangers stopping by**

**And though you're out of tune  
Girl, you blow my mind you do  
And all I'll say is I don't wanna say good night**

**If there's no quiet corner  
To get to know each other**

**Well, there's no hurry  
I'm a patient man as you'll discover**

_And if this is what we've got  
Then what we've got is gold  
We're shining bright and I want you  
I want you to know  
The morning's on its way  
Our friends all say goodbye  
There's nowhere else to go  
I hope that you'll _

**Stay the night**

**Oooooooh  
Oooooooh**

**Stay the night  
Yeah**

**Just like that song on the radio said**

**We'll share the shelter of my single bed**

**But it's a different tune that's stuck in my head**

**And it go-oe-oes**

_If this is what we've got  
Then what we've got is gold  
We're shining bright and I want you  
I want you to know  
The morning's on its way  
Our friends all say goodbye  
There's nowhere else to go  
I hope that you'll  
Stay the night_

**And if this is what we've got ****(Oooooooh)****  
Then what we've got is gold ****(Oooooooh)****  
We're shining bright and I want you ****(Oooooooh)****  
I want you to know ****(Oooooooh)****  
The morning's on its way ****(Oooooooh)****  
Our friends all say goodbye ****(Oooooooh)****  
There's nowhere else to go ****(Oooooooh)****  
I hope that you'll ****(Oooooooh)**

_Stay the night_

We finished, panting for breath, looking at each other. "That was, uh, really good" Logan said finally, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, yeah it was." I managed.

"I'll say." Said a slightly condescending and very loud voice from behind us. We both jumped and twisted around to see Gustavo, Kelly and the other (ahem) _dogs_ looking in at us.

"Really? Again?" I said, exasperated. I'd like someone to approach me from the front whilst I am singing. Just for once. Logan gave a soft chuckle under his breath. The others looked confused but they shrugged it off.

"Your voices work really well together..." Gustavo started, "Hey, I've just had a brilliant idea!"

"Oh, dear." Logan and I muttered under our breath simultaneously, before grinning at each other. Gustavo scowled at us, but continued nonetheless.

"You two should do a duet! Not that song, of course, but you can have another song ready for tomorrow, right, Star?"

"Tomorrow?" I practically squealed. Was he serious? An entirely new song in a matter of hours? Impossible!

"Great, I knew I could count on you!" He was serious. "Make it a romantic song, yeah?" he turned to the other boys. "You lot can have the day off because I am SICK OF THE SIGHT OF YOU!" He left then humming some unrecognisable tune under his breath.

"A brand new romantic love song for _tomorrow?_"I said. "_Tomorrow?_"

James went to say something, but then decided against it after seeing my (probably downright terrifying) glare that was sent his way.

"Hey!" Gustavo said, appearing in the doorway once again. "I'm a genius! Make the song commercial enough to make a video for. It can be your debut _and_ it'll be good publicity for BTR!" He started on his way back down the hall. "GENIUS!"

**~BTRROCKS~BTRROCKS~BTRROCKS~ (artistic page break) ~BTRROCKS~BTRROCKS~BTRROCKS~**

"How do you think I should wear my hair for my date tonight?" **(AN: you can guess who said that!)**

"James, I really couldn't care less. I have to finish this romantic love song duet for tomorrow, _and_ make it commercial enough to have a music video. So you can understand why your hair is the last thing on my mind at the moment!" I realised I was rambling, shook my head to get myself to focus and went back to my song.

"Someone's an irritable little sixteen year old, now, isn't she?"

I turned to look at him, fixing him with my patented _shut-up-right-now-or-tomorrow-morning-you-won't-_have_-any-hair-_to_-worry-about _glare. He fell silent immediately, his hands flying to his hazel locks. We were in the boys' apartment. James was looking in the mirror smiling at himself in a number of different ways. It was a little creepy. I was lying on their orange couch, (which, although a horrendous colour, was the most comfortable couch in the history of mankind) trying to finish my song. Well, actually it was mine and Logan's song. He had helped me with the lyrics and he was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, trying to work out a harmony for what we had so far. Mrs. Knight was on yet another date with Fabio (I swear if that guy doesn't put a ring on it soon Kendall's going to murder him.), while Katie was at the pool harassing Bitters. Bitters was at the pool being harassed. Carlos and his girlfriend Stephanie were at the pool watching Bitters be harassed by Katie. Kendall and Jo were in Jo's apartment.

"Ok, well, I'm off." James said. Logan grunted noncommittally and I stayed silent. "On my date." Neither Logan nor I made a sound. "With the most amazing girl on the planet."

"Well, maybe you should go to her then!" I snapped. "You're nearly late."

He looked at the clock and quite literally sprinted out of the apartment. "Oh thank God." Logan muttered. "I thought he'd never leave."

I looked up at him, a small smile on my face. I threw my sheet music at him with a satisfied sigh. "Finished." He read over it and nodded.

"I think I've figured out a harmony too."

"So we're done."

"Pretty much." He sighed. He tossed all the sheets on to the coffee table. "Hey, did you hear that there was going to be a meteor shower tonight?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Really? I didn't hear anything about that."

"Yeah. You know, there's a really great view from the roof." He looked up at me.

"Well, what are we sitting around here for? We have a meteor shower to get to!" I said, standing up and offering him my hand. He stood and we ran out of the apartment, laughing. He was still holding my hand. I don't know if he noticed but he was. We took the stairs and we were panting by the time we got to the roof. We sat with our feet dangling over the edge. "So, what time is this supposed to start at? Like, did we miss it, or are we just ridiculously early?" He laughed.

"It should be starting right about... now." And it did. It was amazing.

"Wow" I breathed. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, you are." I looked at him. He was just sitting there. But he was looking at me, instead of the amazing spectacle in the sky. I felt myself blush and looked away. There was some sort of a cast party downstairs by the pool. They played a slow song and I saw the couples pair up. Logan stood up and held out his hand to me. "Can I have this dance?"

I giggled and looked back up at him. I shook my head and took his hand. He placed his hands on my hips and I rested my arms on his shoulders, and my head on his shoulder. We were dancing and laughing. He spun me out and as I twirled back in I stumbled. He caught me much as he had at the pool on my first day in LA with his hands on my hips and mine on his arms. I looked up at him smiling. He was smiling back at me. He was very close to me. My smile dropped when his eyes flickered down to my lips.

I don't know who made the first move. Maybe I kissed him. I like to think he kissed me. But we ended up kissing either way. For a few seconds it was just lips touching lips. But then I felt his tongue grazing my lower lip, asking for entrance which I granted immediately. I know this sounds completely clichéd and you're probably thinking that everyone says this but there were sparks. Not so much as I saw them but I definitely felt them. It was amazing. That boy is seriously talented. When we pulled away for much needed oxygen I couldn't tell whether it had been seconds or minutes or hours or days.

He pecked my lips once more before we turned back to the meteor shower which was just over. He slung an arm around my shoulders and by the time we were walking back down the stairs holding hands I was able to call him my boyfriend. There was only one problem. James.

We got back to his apartment. Guess who was sitting on the couch. James looked relieved and annoyed at the same time. "Star Melissa Diamond where have you been?"

"On the roof?" it came out as a question. He sighed and shook his head at me. He was about to say something else when he saw Logan and my intertwined fingers.

"What is that?" he asked. I didn't know if I should tell him or not. I mean, he gets extremely overprotective and I didn't want to cause a fight between them. Then again it would be really hard to keep it a secret. Fortunately I didn't have to make that decision.

"James, I asked Star to be my girlfriend. She said yes." Logan put his arm around my shoulders as he said this. I looked up at him and he smiled back at me.

"WHAT?" James yelled. Kendall, Carlos, Katie, Mrs. Knight and Fabio came out of their rooms, rubbing at their eyes and yawning.

"What is going on it's nearly one in the morning!" Katie grumbled.

"Katie, let me handle this." Mrs. Knight said. "WHAT IS GOING ON IT'S NEARLY ONE IN THE MORNING!"

"I just found out that my best friend and my sister are dating!" James was nearly shaking with rage. I hadn't thought he'd take it that bad. I knew he would be upset but I didn't think he'd be fit to burst a blood vessel.

"James, come on it's really not that big a deal." I said. I felt Logan tense beside me and realized what I'd said. "I mean, it shouldn't be that big a deal for _you,_ where as it is a huge deal for _me._"

Logan relaxed exponentially. He pulled me in to kiss my forehead. There was a silence, broken only by Kendall's muffled yawns.

"I just can't believe that you didn't tell me." James muttered eventually.

"Didn't tell you? James, it only happened a few minutes ago. I didn't even know!" He didn't look very convinced.

"You're sure it just happened? So, you didn't keep anything from me? At all?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"Yeah." He said, with a well-duh expression. "And you have done so. Many a time!"

"Okay, that's true. But, would Logan?" I looked back at my, ahem,_ boyfriend._

"It's true, dude. We were on the roof watching the meteor shower and I asked her to go out with me. She said yes. I don't want this to make things awkward between us, and I understand if you need some time to process this. But Star is my girlfriend now. And she's going to be for a long time if I can help it. You know me, James." Logan was pleading with him now. "You know I'm going to treat her right. Are we cool?" I'd had no idea he cared so much.

James was silent for a minute. "Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah, we're cool."

"Are you done yet?" Katie grumbled. "Not that this hasn't been incredibly interesting, but, I'm tired!"

"Katie's right. We should go to bed. You two have to show that song to Gustavo in the morning." Carlos yawned.

"Ok, well I guess I'll see you in the morning." I said, pecking Logan on the cheek. I gave James a hug and whispered, "Please don't kill him while I'm gone?" in his ear. I was only half joking.

I went home that night and brushed my teeth and hair, got into my pyjamas and fell into bed.

I dreamt of Logan that night, content with the knowledge that some of my fantasies may actually come true.

**AN: So? What did you think? I'm really happy with this chapter. I think it's the longest chapter I've ever written. It's got 2,672 words! Wow.  
So anyway review and please tell me what you think.  
xoxo  
Ellen  
BTR Forever **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey sorry this took so long! I have a dozen excuses, but instead of using them I'm just going to put an apology. I'm really really sorry. **

**BTW its 2:09 right now so if this sucks don't hate me.**

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah.**

**Chapter 9  
James' POV  
Happy little spring in my step**

_**(Wouldn't Change a Thing by Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas)  
**_**Logan ****Star**_**Both**_

**It's like, he doesn't hear a word I say  
His mind is somewhere far, away  
And I don't know how to get there  
And it's like, all he wants is to chill out  
****(She's way too serious)  
****He makes me wanna pull all my hair out  
****(She's always in a rush, and interrupted)  
**_**Like s/he doesn't even care  
**_**You  
****Me  
**_**We're face to face but we don't see eye to eye**_

**We're like fire and rain  
****(Fire and rain)****  
You can drive me insane ****  
(Drive me insane)**

_**But I can't stay mad at you for anything**_

**We're Venus and Mars  
****(Venus and Mars)  
****We're like different stars  
****(Different stars)**

_**But you're the harmony to every song I sing  
And I wouldn't change a thing**_

**She's always trying to save the day  
Just wanna let my music play  
She's all or nothing  
But my feelings never change  
I try to read her mind  
****(Why, does he try to read my mind?)  
****She's always trying to pick a fight ****  
(It's not good to psychoanalyse)  
****To get attention  
**_**That's what all of my friends say  
**_**You  
****Me  
**_**We're face to face, but we don't see eye to eye**_

**We're like fire and rain  
****(Fire and rain)****  
You can drive me insane ****  
(Drive me insane)**

_**But I can't stay mad at you for anything**_

**We're Venus and Mars  
****(Venus and Mars)  
****We're like different stars  
****(Different stars)**

_**But you're the harmony to every song I sing  
And I wouldn't change a thing**_

**When I'm yes she's no  
****When I hold on he just let's go**_**  
We're perfectly imperfect  
But I wouldn't change a thing  
No, ooh, oh**_

**We're like fire and rain  
****(Fire and rain)****  
You can drive me insane ****  
(Drive me insane)**

_**But I can't stay mad at you for anything**_

**We're Venus and Mars  
****(Venus and Mars)  
****We're like different stars  
****(Different stars)**

_**But you're the harmony to every song I sing  
And I wouldn't change a thing**_

**We're like fire and rain  
****(Fire and rain)****  
You can drive me insane ****  
(Drive me insane)**

_**But I can't stay mad at you for anything**_

**We're Venus and Mars  
****(Venus and Mars)  
****We're like different stars  
****(Different stars)**

_**But you're the harmony to every song I sing  
And I wouldn't change a,  
Wouldn't change a thing**_

Logan and Star finished their song looking away from each other at opposite sides of the campsite.

"And... Cut!" yelled Marcos del Posey. The crew applauded as did I. After about ten long hours, they were finally finished shooting. Kendall Carlos and I had had small parts in the video. Not singing just like appearances. "That was great! Now I must take picture! Smile pretty-pretty!" Wow, this guy was way too upbeat. Star put her arms around Logan's neck and he wrapped one arm around her waist and put his other hand in his pocket. They smiled ("Pretty-pretty!") and got blinded by a flash. "And now, Marcos must go!" And he ran away.

"Where do you suppose he's off to?" Carlos asked, watching Marcos run.

"I don't know." Kendall said slowly, also watching the man in question.

I looked back at my sister and her... _boyfriend._ That was going to take some getting used to.

I had to tell him. I'd already told Kendall and Carlos and I knew _she_ had told her friends. I saw Star kiss his cheek and head off towards her dressing room. Well, it was now or never. He was going to be mad. And he was probably going to hit me.

Oh, not the face!

NO! I could do this. I'm James Diamond. I'm a superstar. A very good looking superstar. He was on his way over.

"Hey, guys!" he said. He was all smiles and everything. Great now I was going to ruin his good mood too.

"So?" Carlos asked. Logan looked at him blankly. "How was it?"

"Tiring. I love this song, but if I hear it one more time today, I might hit something." We all laughed. "Hey, we still on for Chinese, tonight?"

"Yep I'm just going to pick Steph up now." Carlos said, his eyes going all dreamy when he spoke of his girlfriend.

"Oh hey I'll come with you. I have to pick up Jo." Kendall said. As they walked away, they turned back and gave me really over-the-top thumbs-ups. I narrowed my eyes at them and they laughed.

"Hey, Logan, I need to talk to you." I mentally face-palmed. _You are talking to him dipwad!_

"Um, you are talking to me dude."

"Right. Look, you know how Carlos is bringing Steph to dinner tonight, and Kendall's bringing Jo, and you're bringing Star..."

"Yeah..." he looked very confused. I almost wished I had a camera. It's not often you get to see Logan confused. He always knows everything.

"Well, I was going to bring my new girlfriend..."

"Oh, yeah, the one you won't tell me about. Who is she, anyway? Do I know her?"

"Yes. You do. _You _in fact are really quite acquainted with her."

"_Acquainted?_ Did you just say _acquainted?_ Dude, who is this girl?" he was laughing now.

"Well.. it's... em..." _Spit it out, man!_ "It's Camille." He stopped laughing.

"What? I think I just had a hallucination. I could've sworn you just said 'Camille'!"

"Um. I did." He was silent for a moment, just kind of staring at me.

"WHAT! You're dating my ex-girlfriend?"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't even know what to say! When? Why? How?"

"The day you guys broke up. I found her in the lobby, looking like she'd just been crying and Jett Stetson was trying to hit on her. So I 'saved' her from him and asked her to go to a movie with me. You know, to cheer her up. I really like her. She really likes me. I'd very much appreciate it if you'd make your best effort not to be awkward about this."

"Um." He shook his head rapidly. "I need some time to process this. I will try my best to not be awkward about this, but I make no promises for Star. She and Camille tend to grate on each other's nerves."

"Crap, that reminds me. I still have to tell Star. Thanks, for not being weird about this." He gave a small, lopsided smile and nodded. "Well, I should probably go get this over with."

"I should probably go get changed out of these clothes." Logan said gesturing to his current attire. He was wearing the latest in the Stephanie King line. Steph had given them to us for free, because she loves us and she's dating Carlos. Gustavo was convinced it was all because of his negotiating. We headed off in opposite directions. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And I'm sure if you looked closely enough, you could see the happy little spring in my step.

**BTRRocks~BTRRocks~BTRRocks~(artistic page break)~BTRRocks~BTRRocks~BTRRocks**

Star's reaction to the news however, was a little less accepting.

"You're dating WHAT?" wow, she could be scary when she wanted to be.

"I'm dating... Camille?" I asked.

"But, why?" she asked, sounding like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"Look, Camille was one of the first people we met when we moved to LA." I said deciding to just tell her the whole story. "And at first, she had a thing for Kendall. And after a while she moved on to Logan. And then they started dating. But I always liked her. That's why I kissed her when they were still dating." Her mouth dropped open at this. "Logan was really mad, and he broke up with her, and I thought that maybe I was finally getting my chance. But she didn't want to be with me. And then we did that stupid reality TV show- don't ask, it's a long story- and they had to pretend to be in an 'on/off' relationship, which led to them getting back together. Then they broke up again because of you, and I saw my chance staring me right in the face, so I went for it. And it turns out she likes me too. And I think that _that's_ ridiculous, because she's so amazing and no matter how much I talk myself up, I'm still just James." I stopped talking and took in a deep breath. I don't think I've ever said so much before. Star looked shocked. Then she nodded her head.

"Okay." She said, starting to smile. "You're in love. I'll just have to deal with it."

**BTRRocks~BTRRocks~BTRRocks (artistic page break) BTRRocks~BTRRocks~BTRRocks**

We arrived at the restaurant a half an hour later. Star was immediately bombarded with questions about the shoot. Looking over at them, Camille squeezed my arm and went over to the girls. Jo and Stephanie seemed pretty awkward, as they were friends with both Camille and Star.

"Hi, Star."

"Hey, Camille."

"Look," Camille sighed. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm apologizing anyway. I am so sorry for how I treated you. You didn't deserve. It was rude and uncalled for and childish, and I was acting stupid." Star smiled at how obviously sincere the words were.

"I accept your apology." She said with finality. Camille looked up, shocked that Star had forgiven her so easily. "We Diamond's were never ones to hold grudges. And besides, you weren't the only one in the wrong. My attitude towards you was horrible from the start. So I must also apologise. I hope that we can be friends." Both girls were grinning now.

"Of course! But I do have one teeny tiny condition." Star frowned at her. "If you start going on about how hot you think Logan is, I will have to permanently terminate our friendship. And show you the pictures from last summer of him after he threw up on the rollercoaster at the fair." Logan appeared at Star's side.

"You wouldn't dare." He accused.

"Deal." Star said, ignoring Logan's protests. "But, if you go off on a tangent about how cute James is, I will be forced to break out the baby pictures of him in the bathtub."

"You said you destroyed them!" I yelled, going to stand by Camille.

"I lied." She turned to Jo. "I'm pretty sure I can find some pictures of Kendall in the bathtub too, Jo, if you ever need something to blackmail him with."

Jo smirked. "Interesting." Kendall blanched.

"So, do we have a deal?" Star asked turning back to Camille.

"NO WE MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT HAVE A DEAL!" Kendall, Logan, and I yelled.

"Deal." Camille said ignoring us. They shook hands and headed into Yung Po's Chinese restaurant, leaving behind four pained faces. One of them was from laughing too hard.

"Do you have any pictures of Carlos when he was a baby, Star?" Stephanie asked. The laughter suddenly stopped.

"I'm sure I could dig something up."

We, the guys, looked at each other in horror.

And promptly burst out laughing.

**Ugh, I'm not really sure about this chapter. Let me know your thoughts?  
Peace Love BTR  
Ellen**


	10. Chapter 10

**So, here it is, the final chapter! Please let me know what you think. I did not plan for this ending at all but it just worked. Well, I thought so. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't like doing disclaimers. They remind me of all the things I don't own. Big Time Rush is not mine and neither is Taylor Swift's song **_**Last Kiss.**_** I do claim ownership of the character Star Diamond.**

**4 Months **

**Star's POV**

4 months. That's how long it took for me to screw things up. 4 months. My new personal best.

4 months since I'd been in love with Logan Mitchell.

3 months and three week since my last Stella incident.

3 months and two weeks since I got my record deal.

3 months since Logan and Camille broke up.

3 months since James and Camille got together.

2 months and two weeks since Logan and I started dating.

3 days since Logan died.

Or, I should say, three days since I killed him.

I'd been having a stressful day. Gustavo hated the last four songs I had written. James and Camille were fighting and 'taking a break', which basically meant both of them were miserable but too stubborn to admit they were wrong, _and_ I had to choose between my brother and one of my best friends. That freak Jett Stetson had been flirting with me all day and then had forcibly kissed me. Logan walked in at exactly the wrong moment and so we were fighting. I was walking to the elevator in the lobby. When I got in there was only one other person. Logan. We started fighting. When we got to my floor, I stepped out him right behind. We were still arguing and he followed me into my apartment. And I snapped. The last thing I remember is seeing Camille and James standing by _my_ coffee table, in _my_ apartment, looking like they'd just stopped talking.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital with shattered glass in my arm and a sprained ankle. Everyone was crying, and I learned that Stella had- that _I _had gotten a carving knife and _stabbed _my boyfriend in the heart. He'd been dead before he hit the ground.

And all this led up to now with me standing on this ledge. I wonder if it will hurt. There are people down below, cop cars and fire brigades. I can make out two vaguely familiar faces. Looks like Jo, and Carlos.

"Star!" I hear from behind me. It's James. I turn around, to face him and see that he has a police man with him and Kendall. James looks scared. "Star, come inside. We can fix this, but you need to come inside." I smile sadly at him.

"There are some things that can't be fixed once broken, Jamie." I turn slightly to look back at the street. "Logan's dead, James. I killed your best friend. Why do you not hate me?"

"I could never hate you." He insisted.

"I don't believe you." I look back at him. "I wrote a song yesterday. It's in my top desk drawer. I think it's pretty good."

"Well, why don't you come down from there so you can sing it for me?" he's pleading now, begging, and it takes everything I have not to go to him. But I know I have to do this. How many other innocent people, my friends, could I hurt if I don't?

"It's been recorded. You don't need me to sing it for you." I look at him for a long moment. "Tell mom I love her. And I love you too, Jamie. I really do." I take a step backwards into nothingness. For a second I'm flying. The last verse of my newest song runs through my head, and I sing along.

_And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day  
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed  
You can plan for a change in weather and town  
But I never planned on you changing your mind_

_So I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes  
All that I know is I don't know,  
How to be something you'd miss  
Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last kiss  
Forever the name on my lips  
Forever the name on my lips  
Just like our last_

"I love you Logan."

And then, I'm free.

**AN: Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for all the reviews, favourites and alerts, they really help to keep me motivated.**

**You guys rock!**

**Ellen  
xoxo**


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